Travelogue

This is gonna be a long report, so it will appear in pieces. I will post photos later (you may even wish to suggest things you’d like to see that I‘ve described, & if I have photos, I‘ll include them). Please, please bear with my foggy, jet-lagged brain; I will try to get as detailed as I can, & get the details right. I did my best to keep notes while I was away. But you may see a lot of notations of amendments, so I ask you now to forgive me.

The adventure actually begins Thursday, the night before my scheduled departure, when I get a call from a frantic charaxinae (actually, her mom called me first, then I talked to her) - she suffered a severe health crisis literally at the eleventh hour, & though it turned out not to be life-threatening or anything, her doctor had advised her not to travel. She pressed me onward, however, apologising for having to bow out but urging me to go. Though I would miss her presence, she had enlisted the aid of her Tokyo contact (who, since this writing, has gotten an LJ account - styxonline), in ensuring that all my desires were met & that I had as wonderful a time as possible. I must say, styxonline went above & beyond the call of duty in that department.

But let’s take this moment by moment.

Day 1 - Departure & Arrival

I’d been up since 4 am, terrified at the prospect of having to go it alone. Around 7 am, after about 37 triple-checks to make sure I had everything I’d wanted to/was supposed to take with me (including the stuff charaxinae had dropped off at my house the night before, which she did ‘cuz she didn’t want to forget it in the morning as we were leaving), I was picked up by the car service. The driver, Bob, said he was sorry to hear of her health scare (he’d had a pretty major one himself, a few years back) & hoped she was doing better (he would reiterate this hope when he picked me up to take me home, too - but again, I digress). Bob was very friendly, & a wonderful conversationalist. He was a fount of information, as well, about the areas we drove through (lots of Brooklyn, & over the Verrazano - or, as my grandpa & I used to call it, the Very Narrow - Bridge), & many other things. One thing I learned - bagels are all about water. They’re something like slightly old dough, re-hydrated, so to speak, then baked. I was telling him I’d hoped to try a green tea bagel whilst in Japan; he said he knew somebody who ran a bakery, & would have to mention that. Even the largely Japanese areas don’t have those in their eateries (at least, none of the ones either of us knew about). Anywho, he enjoyed our chat on the way to the airport so much, he stopped off at a little place just before we got there & treated me to a bagel (pumpernickel w/cream cheese) & tea! That’s service for you.

Got dropped off at the American Airlines terminal & was directed to the Tokyo check-in gate. Stood in line behind some Japanese folks, & understood a bit of what I overheard a girl on her cell-phone saying. Checked my big, purple, packed-to-the-gills luggage & put the rest through security. Even had to take off my shoes & put them through. Was then directed to the gate where my plane would board.

Ever see that Simpsons episode where they go to Japan? Remember how they bought their seats last-minute, when cancellations opened up? I guess they really do that, ’cuz there was a girl in what would’ve been charaxinae’s seat. Her name was Maki, a Japanese girl who’d been living here for the last 15 years, but was moving back (around Shimokitazawa, I think she said). She worked in video editing & was both excited & nervous about such a big step. She slept quite a bit. I dozed off, myself, a little. Couldn’t believe I was actually there, doing what I was doing.

There were lots of Japanese people on the flight, going home I assumed. I was happy to be among so many. Must be from the way they have to cram themselves into crowded trains, but they really can sleep in absolutely any position. It’s very cute. Speaking of cute, noticed some decent-looking guys (herein referred to as “bishi boys” or “bishi”, short for “bishounen”, meaning very good-looking young men, or, literally, “beauty-boys”). There were 2 sitting across from me in the airport pre-board waiting area, & another in the seat behind me on the plane.

Had vegetarian meat loaf for lunch. Cutting into the melon slices they gave you as dessert was like performing brain surgery. There was a guy a few rows to my left who reminded me of Kakihara, Tadanobu Asano’s character from ICHI THE KILLER. Not as tasty as Asano-san, but that whole blonde cool thing. Too bad he didn’t have the shiny purple coat. They give you a pillow & blanket on the plane. And headphones. There was a tv/movie/music selector (the touch-screen is on the back of the seat in front of you, & there’s a remote in the arm-rest), which also displayed the flight path & in-flight instructions. The in-flight radio had a J-pop station. The lighter side of J-pop. The signs & flight-related announcements were done in both Japanese & English.

It had been hot & dry in the plane for a while, but once we were over northernmost Canada, it started getting chilly. Took out one of my earrings so Maki could use the pointy end to open up something on her phone thingy. I’d felt bad I didn’t have a safety pin, which she’d originally asked for. But the earring worked. Filled out customs cards & the embarkation card.

We crossed the International Date Line on the way over! So it had gone from Friday to Saturday. What was I doing at the time? Eating some nifty mini-wrap things made with chilled wild rice & watching a very lengthy piece on Japanese tv about negi, I think they’re called - green onions. Might be the longest report on a single vegetable I’ve ever seen. Kept thinking back to this cute little Japanese boy I’d seen at the airport. Saw him again later, on the flight. Often wondered if I were really gonna be okay doing this trip all by myself or if the non-worried feelings I had from time to time were a kind of false confidence, like the calm before a storm. Whichever the case, I got a kick out of the subsequent tv program, “Cool Japan”, which used part of the COWBOY BEBOP theme music as its opener, & talked about the differences between things in Japan & other countries, like department stores & manners, with an international panel. Got excited when they showed the Daiso shop - I was planning to go to the one in Harajuku.

Watched FANTASTIC 4: RISE OF THE SILVER SURFER, & walked around the cabin for a little bit. It killed some time, & saved my legs from blood clots. Dozed off for a bit. Then they gave us damp face cloths, which made me feel better. Couldn’t believe I’d been so far in one day: NYC to Canada, Alaska, Siberia (well, over those places), & then Asia, finally over Japan. One pasta salad featuring mystery vegetable later, & some clarification from Maki on the finer details of the green onion report, & we were 10 minutes from our destination!

charaxinae had set it up so styxonline would meet me at Narita Airport. Being I am insecure about most aspects of myself, particularly my appearance (never mind that I’m a Goth, which is high-maintenance in & of itself, except I never could get it exactly right), I was worried about how I’d look. First impressions & all. A 14-hour flight does tend to wear one’s make-up down. But she was as cool (& is as awesome) as they come. I was told I would know her ‘cuz she’d be waving a shark puppet. After getting off the plane, going through Customs check, & accidentally going to the wrong baggage claim area, I found my stuff, said my last good-bye’s to Maki, & found a shark in the crowd holding up a sign saying, “Pat me on the head if you are...” with my full name written below. His name is Same (pronounced SAH-may, which means “shark” in Japanese), & he’s cool, too! Most expressive & fun. ^_^

Narita is pretty low-key. I’d pictured it as more hectic, but after such a long flight, I’m glad that wasn’t the case.

styxonline was gracious enough to pay my fare for the limousine bus (which is not cheap - she spoiled me rotten the whole week!), which took us past the Tokyo Tower, the teeny-tiny-mini Statue of Liberty, Tokyo Disney, the Fuji tv studio, one or 2 of the Ferrris Wheels (there are a few in Tokyo), & over the Rainbow Bridge. After getting off at one of the swank hotels, it was just a few minutes’ walk to the ryokan where I was staying. She got me checked in & had (green) tea with me in my room (you get a low table w/sitting cushion, & they give you a tea set, with hot water & rice crackers every day). She also showed me how to tie my yukata (sort of a kimono-style bath robe - you have to put the left side over the right, because the right side only goes over the left at funerals). Even on the bus coming from the airport, I felt I was in the presence of an old friend, not someone I’d just met. I would tell her this several times during my stay. She - & the city - made me feel very comfortable. Tokyo kind of reminds me of NYC - lots of lights & video screens, like Times Square. But there are different parts to the city, each with a different feel. Going from Ginza to Harajuku is like going from Madison Avenue to Greenwich Village. More than once, I wrote in my journal that I did not want to leave. But for the ability to read & speak better (though I think I fared okay for a tourist), & the need of a steady income (not to mention the need for a sense of direction), I could live there.

At the ryokan, I had such a lovely room! I got the J-style tatami kind, of course, where you sleep on a futon (very comfortable!). There were no mirrors in it, other than the bathroom. I had my own bath/shower & toilet. Incidentally, the toilets I encountered in Japan were all Western-style. I’d worried about the old, squat kind. And there’s plenty of toilet paper in the country, which I had also been worried about. The shower worked beautifully, as did everything. The toilet was neat - it had 2 flush settings, to use less water depending on your...um...output. For #1, you flushed in the “sukoshi” (small) direction, for the other, you used “oki” (large).

There ’s a lovely little older gentleman who runs the place, Yoshi. He’d spent a couple years working baggage (I believe that’s what he said) at JFK airport. His daughter, a soprano, also studied voice at Juliard. So his whole family “loves the Big Apple”.

I settled in, freshened up a bit, made a few quick phone calls to worried relatives to let them know I’d arrived safely, & then styxonline took me out to dinner. Went to a lovely, intimate little place in Shibuya for “mon-jya” (we got mochi & cheese) & “okanomi-yaki” (vegetable mix). They’re basically these nifty omelet-type things you fry up yourself & eat w/sauce & mayo. You sit at this low table (shoes off), the top of which has a flat grilling surface in the center. Oishii! You who know me know that I loved Japanese food before I went, but man, there were all kinds of things I found to love that I didn’t even know about ’til I got there! We also had a cool, scrummy soda, Ramane (RAH-mah-nay), I think it was called. The bottle is stopped up with a marble. You get a top with a thing that sticks out that you push down on to plunk the marble down into the bottom. Really tasty!

After dinner, we walked around Shibuya for a bit, looking at bishi & chatting. Right outside Shibuya Station is the famed Hachiko statue - which is surprisingly small - & the Moyai, another statue/meeting place, meant to resemble one of the famous head things on Easter Island...except this one has hair & puffy cheeks, so it looks a bit odd. We saw an indie band called the Craters playing on the street! Got some video of them. There were some homeless there, too - not a lot, but some - sleeping on the street. And I found out yes, there really are Yakuza in Kabuki-cho, & some other places, too.

Spotted a Tower Records & thought I’d try a bit of shopping. Wondered if I could find any CD’s or DVD’s of my beloved J-rock artists. As I’m still unaccustomed to the Japanese alphabetisation method, I’d asked styxonline for some help. Couldn’t believe my eyes...first thing I found was EVERY SINGLE DIR EN GREY ALBUM THAT I DID NOT HAVE!!!! And a bunch of singles, too. And DVD’s. styxonline found me some Malice Mizer, & a Visual Kei section, where there was also Moi dix Mois & Phantasmagoria!!! I couldn’t decide what to buy, or what to buy first! Ended up spending upwards of $400 that first night alone!! Kept going back to get more over the next couple of days. Later on, I also found a Shibuya shop called Tsutaya that yielded a couple of goodies. I didn’t buy absolutely everything I’d have liked to, for fear of a) running out of cash, & b) not being able to get it all home - especially the latter! But I came out with a plethora of goodness, & I think my decisions were the right ones. “Nani o kaimashita ka,” you ask. All in all, I bought:

Dir en grey: DVD music video collections Average Psycho & Kimon, CD’s Missa, Gauze, Kisou, Vulgar, Macabre, Six Ugly, CD singles “Myaku”/“Ash”, “Embryo”, & “Ain’t Afraid To Die”

Malice Mizer: Bara ni Irodorareta Akui to Higeki no Makuake (concert DVD), La Collection des Singles - Merveilles CD feat. Verte Aile (short film) DVD (I’d regretted passing that up in NYC but it was actually cheaper here), Voyage Sans Retour CD, CD single "Kyomu no Naka de no Yuugi"

Hyde: 666 CD

L’Arc-en-Ciel: “flower” CD single (that’s the song that got messed up on my BEST OF disk; they didn’t have the album it was originally on)

Moi dix Mois: CD’s Dixanadu, Dix Infernal, Beyond the Gate, Nocturnal Opera

Phantasmagoria: Reincarnation (video collection DVD), CD/DVD sets Signs of Fragment, Requiem: Floral Edition, & Requiem: Funeral Edition

Tower (which styxonline referred to as my second home) has a “points system”, whereby if you spend X amount of yen, you get X amount of points, & once you reach 1,000 (I found this out later; there’s a story behind that) you can use them toward a discount on your next purchase. Needless to say, I racked up a butt-load of points. :P

styxonline, who lives outside the main part of the city, had to catch her last train, but showed me where & how to take the bus back to the ryokan (2 stops from Shibuya Station & about 2 blocks’ walk). After about 10:30, the Shin’ya (late night) bus costs more. Was excited that I managed to get back by myself. Took a midnight shower. Passed out but woke up at 4 am. Watched unknown anime on tv. Another channel had a city shot, mellow piano music, traffic & weather scrolls, & the words “healing time” in the corner. It really was very quiet there, despite being so close to the “action”.

Watched a little news, & passed out again. Woke up to the alarm at 8 am.

Saw baseball fave Ichiro in a commercial (I would see him in another later on). Took some time & readied myself to meet styxonline. Talked to her on the phone to make plans. She advised me to try going down to the local konbeni (convenience store - there are yonks of them all over the place; this was an AM/PM at the end of the block where my ryokan was situated) to grab some cheap breakfast & practise my practical Japanese. Short walk, LOTS to choose from. The young man who served me was very nice, & even kind of a bishi. I really liked the konbeni. Could never quite get the hang of hearing prices in Japanese, though (there or anywhere). When he told me what my total was, I said (in Japanese) that I didn’t understand, so he told me in English. So nice! For roughly $3 or so, I got 2 onegiri (triangular rice & seaweed cakes - one plain w/sesame seeds, one w/shiso, I think it’s called [the purple stuff]) & 2 inari-zushi (sushi wrapped in fried tofu), & a small bottle of carrot juice. Now that’s a good breakfast!

Next time: Day 2 - Harajuku, the Meiji Shrine, & baseball!!

Harajuku, Jingu, Pikachu, Yakyuu

Didn’t get to sleep ‘til 4 am, woke up at, like, 12:30! Looked for some jobs, talked to Betty across the street, & took care of the insurance - the new broker accidentally sent me a bill, when I’d already paid through my insurance agent. Ugh.

Anywho, back to the cool stuff. Forgive me if it’s not super-duper well-written. What I don’t give you in words will be supplemented by my photos later on.


Day 2

Forgot to mention something I would experience many times in Shibuya - ever see in movies or whatever, that huge intersection with all the people going across it? That’s called the Scramble Crossing, outside of Shibuya Station, & it goes in about six different directions. People who live there find it kind of annoying, but for me, it was just super-nifty.

Took a photo of this neat restaurant sign - it’s a big puffer fish (fugu), & the fish are all in a tank in the window. Kind of cruel, I guess, when you think about it. I won’t do the fugu thing, too much fear of the poisonous part. The fish are neat to see, though - they’re larger than I thought they’d be. Pretty sure that place was in Shibuya. Next, Shinjuku & Harajuku. In Harajuku, this shrine thing (I can’t remember what it was called) was being carried around - I got photos & video. It kept following us wherever we went. After that, took lots of clips on the Jingu-bashi, or what I came to call Kei Bridge. It’s where all the Visual Kei kids (or Kei-jin, as I dubbed them) hang out looking sullen or pretty or whatever their thing is, & get their photos taken. A couple of them were grouped around this neat structure that turned out to be, of all things, a phone booth. One non-Kei group of young people were giving out free hugs! I got clips of both me & styxonline getting some. She said the guy who hugged me was kind of a bishi. We had a great many discussions on the various types of bishi. And let’s not forget the female variety - bishettes! ^_^

Saw a dude with a cat on his shoulder on the Jingu-bashi. He was with a woman holding a similar cat with a cute dress on. We got to pet the kitties. Later, went to the Meiji Shrine. It’s soooo beautiful! Really peaceful. Took photos of the Torii gates at the outer & inner entrances (they‘re so high!), me in front of the portable shrine that we kept seeing (it stopped for a bit at the entrance to Meiji), signs on the way up to the shrine (things like don’t bring in your horse cart/don’t take fish or plants). It’s actually like a long walk through the woods, with a big path in the middle. Some things were blocked off with old-looking fence-gates, like old gardens, houses, & other buildings belonging to, I guess, the Imperial Family who are enshrined there. One of these was a pretty stream. styxonline took a pic of me on the old bridge. I explained to her early on (not that I needed to, ‘cuz she understood right off the bat) that it’d be good for me to be in at least a few pictures (even though I think I’m horrifically ugly, & the humidity was giving me bad hair & make-up days, big-time; it was 86 when I landed the day before!), because, as I put it, I didn’t want to end up like Bridget Fonda. For anyone who’s not seen JACKIE BROWN, there’s a scene where she’s talking to Robert DeNiro, who’s looking at pictures she’s got around her place, & she’s telling him about one shot from when she lived in Japan. She’s talking about the experience & the guy she lived with there, & saying that, of all the time she spent there, she’s only got that one photo. And I don’t think it’s even like you can tell it’s Japan, it’s just some land behind her. So styxonline did a lot of that - taking shots of me in front of things. She didn’t want me to end up like Bridget Fonda, either. :)

There are wine casks showcased at Meiji, for wines (& sake, I guess, too) made by the shrine (or, rather, those connected with it); I think they’re used as offerings to gods/spirits, &/or for some ritual things. Sorry, historical details are a bit difficult for me. There was a sign of a song/prayer, for protection from the gods, which I also photographed (I really liked those Kanji signs), followed by the main shrine area. There’s a small purification area, where you cleanse your hands & mouth with water before going to pray. We saw someone’s wedding procession!! As the majority of the population follow a combination of Buddhism & Shinto, people do get married there. (As our Kyoto tour guide, Hiro, would later put it - Shinto takes care of this life, Buddhism takes care of the afterlife.) The bride looked really pretty. Saw the wall of prayers, where people purchase a wood block, write down their wishes, & post them up. Took overview shots of the shrine - except for the bit where I walked through one of those VERY old doorways where the threshold goes up just a bit. The door was finely detailed, &, well, I wasn’t exactly watching where I was going (hey, I was awestruck, what can I say?), & tripped. How embarrassing! Of all the places to do a major face-plant, the Meiji Shrine! I think styxonline said even the gods would’ve smiled in amusement.

I did do the prayer thing, though. Actually, I tried to embrace silence & reverence, not actually asking for anything. You throw some coins into the receptacle (if you want to meet nice people, styxonline says coins with 5’s in them are very good*, so you’d throw in, like, a 100 yen coin, along with a 5 yen one), bow twice, clap twice, & bow again. Didn’t take any photos in the prayer places or any of the super-sacred stuff. It’s only right to leave those things as they were meant to be. Later, I got my fortune, which styxonline read to me in both Japanese & English. It was about success in its truest sense being based on sincerity.

One last shot of the shrine & it was off to the Takeshita-Dori! That’s an awesome street in Harajuku. Kinda like being on St. Mark’s Place in the Village in NYC, only even cooler! It’s Goth-loli (Gothic Lolita, for those who don’t know) central! First, though, I had to duck into Snoopy Town. Way cute. They’re into Snoopy & Disney in an import sense the way we dig Hello Kitty - but don’t worry, Kitty’s all over the place there, too! Okay, on to Takeshita. styxonline took my photo in front of Takenoko, a nifty costume shop. Pretty corsets & frilly dresses - a few things reminiscent of stuff Mana & the gang used to wear back in the old Malice Mizer days. And some stuff straight out of Vegas! The Daiso shop was fun - couldn’t make up my mind what to get! Bought some things for the folks back home. The portable shrine went by us again. Back onto the remaining Harajuku streets afterwards. Saw Jonathan’s, a family feedbag a la Denny’s (though they have Denny’s, too), which I thought was funny ‘cuz that’s my brother’s name (though his is spelled differently). On the way to eat, just before setting off for baseball, ducked into a Book Off. Didn’t find anything I needed, but saw an EXTREMELY cute, I mean ultra-cute, little boy wearing a Pikachu bike helmet. His dad was wearing a jacket with Lupin the Third on it. I couldn’t believe how cute this kid was. Seized the moment & had styxonline ask the dad if we could take his son’s picture. He was okay with it, though the kid got shy & almost ran off before I could get a shot. His dad got him to stay put, however, & I didn’t even notice it until I went to check if the picture came out, but the little boy - just as he’d realised I wanted to take a photo of him - smiled at me!! We thanked the father, then thanked the son, bowing as one does (& bowing lower to get down to the kid’s level), & the little boy said, “Arigato!” to us!!! SOOOOOOO CUTE!!! Pikachu Boy, as we now call him, touched both of us very deeply.

Had some awesome tempura-don for dinner (not sure why, but even the restaurant bathrooms seemed kind of amazing to me - they have check lists of when the staff go in to make sure everything is clean, & post signs like, “Thank you for using our toilets cleanly”), then popped into Condomania. At first, the name almost sounds like lots of people want to own posh townhouses or something, but it’s actually a funky little condom shop. I don’t know if they have stuff like that in NYC or wherever, but I, personally, have never seen anything like it.

Off we went to Jingu Stadium. WHAT AN AWESOME PLACE!!! There had been an Osaka-related stall in the Shibuya Station exhibition space, & one of the things being sold was Hanshin Tigers memorabilia. I got a keychain that looks like those 2-bat things the fans often beat together to accentuate their chants. It was tiny, but I clicked along with the rest of the Tigers lovers, who sat on all sides of us (though the really major concentration was on the other side of the stadium). After styxonline & I finished our drinks, which we’d gotten at the nearby vending machines just before the game (those things are everywhere!), I just beat the plastic bottles together. Took lots of clips of the fans cheering, chanting, waving their flags - not to mention the full-on brass bands, flyers, uniform gear, singing, yelling out, banging bats. Then there was the blowing up & releasing of balloons - too groovy!! And the Yakult Swallows fans doing their “dance” with their cute little umbrellas with the club mascots on. Baseball there is so much cooler than here in the US. The fans are even more fun to watch than the game! Though that was cool, too. Got clips of the cheerleaders & Swallows mascots dancing around, as well. I wanted to capture the enthusiasm of both sides, which is awesome ‘cuz they take their turns, letting the other supporters do their thing while their team is up.

Speaking of teams, some of them have, um, well-formed rears, lol! We were just past the first base line, though more toward the outfield. Pretty close, in terms of being able to see the action (we were actually closer than my video clips would lead you to believe), though it’s less easy to figure out what’s going on than when you’re sitting home with close-ups & commentary on the tv. But there’s a big screen on the scoreboard that does replays & gives player information. There were even fireworks at one point. And there were lots of cute kids at the game. It was cute kid day! I have to say, the Japanese children I saw were all well-behaved youngsters. No restaurant babies or anything like that. (charaxinae will know what I’m talking about.)

Unfortunately, one player got hit by a pitch during the game; he was down for a bit, but got up & took his base. Then they brought in a pinch runner. Hope he was okay after that! Sadly, the Tigers lost 3-zip, but it was great all the same. A truly awesome experience. (Yes, “awesome” was the word of the day.) And dig this - I got to see Kaz 2!! That’s Kazuhisa Ishii. He came to the US & pitched for a couple teams; I used to route for him, esp. when he was with the NY Mets, which he was on at the same time as one of my fave players, Kazuo Matsui (as of this writing, now with the Colorado Rockies - they made the playoffs last night!!), who was also called Kaz (thus, Ishii-senshu was Kaz 2). But Ishii-senshu went back to Japan & has been pitching for the Swallows. AND HE WAS PITCHING AT OUR GAME!!! After the game, I got a great shot of his face on the big screen as he was being interviewed. Unfortunately, it was right around there that my first memory card ran out, & I didn’t even have time to change it when Ishii-senshu comes out & starts throwing out baseballs to the fans! We’d gotten up to go out but walked down a bit closer to the fencing to watch the mascots, & there he was! It was cool to be so close. I cheered for him. He may not be with Hanshin, but he’s still one of my boys. ^_^

Learned much that day about using the Tokyo Metro (subway), saw cool shops, restaurants, etc. Some of these were in Aoyama. We’d walked back to the station instead of taking the subway, ‘cuz it would have been way crowded. But I found out about night culture & cafes & ramen shops & such, whilst admiring cool architecture (thus, I have several shots of buildings). Subwayed back to Shibuya, where styxonline left me to my bus & went to catch her train. Of course, I got all the way back before I remembered she was still holding my Daiso bag, ha ha. (She brought it the next day.) The girl even tried to help me find white make-up earlier that day (I’m still tryin’ to get that Goth thing right, thought maybe I’d find what the Kei-jin use), but I didn’t have any better luck there than I do here in the US. Well, can’t win ‘em all. She did, however, show me the various konbeni, & how they’re liable to differ.

Munched on a couple rice crackers, caught some highlights of our game on tv, saw that actor from “Infection” on a commercial (at least, I think it was him), & passed out.

Next time: Day 3 - Kabuki!!


*The reason for this is because "go-yen" (5-yen) sounds similar to "go-en", which is, according to styxonline, "your destiny for meeting people or things. So you throw in your go-yen in hope of having good goen...it's very hard to describe 'goen', it's a very Japanese belief, even kind of religious...Fate more on the good side? Something like that."